If music be the food of love ROCK ON

The ukulele video has arrived. As it says on the liner notes:

This video will give you an excellent overview of the ukulele's potential for a variety of musical styles, and a renewed enthusiasm for what Bob Brozman calls "this noble little instrument."

Yeah

As Leonard Nymoy said "if music be the food of love ROCK ON!"

Fray Bentos

Gonna get me a VW campervan. I've always wanted one and the time is now. Furthermore, the Mrs is moving us to the country so I may be working away from home a lot.

It occurs to me that there is the real opportunity for me to finally become an itinerant 21st century über-gypsie. In the day I will be a steely-eyed-missile-man of an IT Contractor, whilst at night, I will be living in the campervan in a pub car park near Cheam.

For tea, I will eat fray bentos steak and kidney pie.

Live the dream.

Websphere Certification

Ok lets get a Websphere certification. I like little cheesey exams. They are meaningless but strangely seem to motivate tired, shagged out old b@stards like me.

Here are some options:

IBM Certified Associate Developer - WebSphere Studio, V5.0
Entry level, requires exam 285 which is maily aimed at getting around Websphere studio, debugging JSPs etc

IBM Certified Solution Developer - WebSphere Studio, V5.0
More involved requires you pass CIW Web Developer which is JCERT test covering basic J2EE stuff. In addtion you must pass 286 which looks pretty similar to 285. From initial looks it dosn't appear that you can stack up exams like the old Lotus/Novell electives.

An alternative to the CIW Web Developer is the Sun Java 2 Programmer. This seems odd as this is the basic J2SE exam which dosn't deal with J2EE at all. Hey Ho.

IBM Certified Enterprise Developer - WebSphere Studio, V5.0
This the biggy, For anything with enterprise in it your going to have to understand EJBs. To get this creditation you must pass:

Sun Java Programmer (1.2 or 1.4) - 310-325
Object-Oriented Analysis and Design with UML (486)
Enterprise Connectivity with J2EE V1.3 (484)
Enterprise Application Development with IBM WebSphere Studio, V5.0 (287)

IBM Certified System Administrator - WebSphere Application Server V5.0
Basic admin exam 340. Again admin without EJBs, single server.

IBM Certified Solution Developer - IBM WebSphere Portal for Multiplatforms V5.0
This dosn't exist yet (only 4.1) the link points to the new exams due in 2003 ... hmm gettting a bit late. There appears to be a deplyment and development exam so it remains to be seen if this will remain one thing.

Summary
So, the associate exams look a bit pointless as they are all about remembering the menu options is WSAD. The solution developer looks a good bet for first dibs but the question is do you do the CIW exam or just the Java Programmer? The CIW content is worth knowing but the exam is not used in any of the further certifications.

So, I reckon its the solution developer with the J2SE programmer.

As Joey Ramone said, "Hey ho lets go"

International Cheese Awards are on again

The International cheese awards are on again. I know what I am voting for. Do you?

There is wickedness in Babylon

Computer programming, for those who have noticed, is excruciatingly dull. To do it for any length of time often requires mind games and distractions. Myself, I listen to dub reggae. Dub is mainly remixed versions of well know tracks with the emphasis on the bass and drums.

So, being kind of ambient music, dub allows Johnny programmer to concentrate on the task at hand. The best bit is that occasionally there is the odd smattering of vocals from the original track. This is handy, as it gives you the opportunity to join in and alarm your work colleagues.

My particular favourites are: "There is wickedness in Babylon!" and "rastafari ALMIGHTY GOD!".

For those keen to experiment with the benefits of dub, I can heartily recommend Augustus Pablo and the mighty King Tubby

In fine style. Ahem

Computer Programming the whys and wherefores

Some of you are out there right now creating software for the 21st century. Myself I am still Airfix Modelling.

Some of you relish the challenge of the web service or servlet, but for me its still all about the Focke Wulf or HMS Fearless.

Locate and Cement!

More important lyrics

Very excellent lyrics from the 1970's

Love Machine lyrics

Chorus:
I'm just a love machine
And I won't work for nobody but you,
I'm just a love machine,
A huggin', kissin' friend.


I'm gentle as a lamb,
I'm not that hard to program,
There's no way that you can lose,
My chassis fits like a glove,
I've got a button for love,
That you have got-to-use.
If you look into my file,
I am sure you can find out how,
To turn me on just set my dial,
And let me love you for a little while - ooh

Chorus

Na, na na na na, na na na na, woo-woo-wooo
Na, na na na na, na na na na, na naaah

Chorus

Depression - a simple treatment

In the west depression is often teated with a cocktail of powerful drugs, which often have serious side effects. I prefer the simpler approach of reading Benny Hill Lyrics.

To achieve maximum effect, the lyrics must be read slowly like you would serious poetry.

"Now Ernie loved a widow
A lady known as Sue
She lived all alone in Linley Lane
At number twenty two
They said she was too good for him
She was haughty, proud and chic
But Ernie got his cocoa there
Three times every week
They called him Ernie (Ernie)
And he drove the fastest milkcart in the west"

Slide Ukulele

This is my version of a famous Led Zeppelin track played on slide ukulele. Name that tune.

I mean slide ukulele ..... I wonder if the Great One ever tried?

Websphere its bigger than both of us.

Websphere. Its bigger than both of us, and its not a wagon wheel.

I'm not sure I can type another line of Lotusscript. It gives me a nose bleed.

I have bought this book An Introduction to Web Application Development with IBM Websphere Studio . I am going to pass the exam and become a millionaire before they send all the jobs overseas. You just wait.