Tuesday, August 31, 2004

Old web sites I miss

Tvgohome - Sadly no longer updated.

Check out the valentine'd day special. In particular read the small print after the final program ... genius.

www.tvgohome.com

Saturday, August 28, 2004

A wonder of the modern world

Why do they still play 'chirpie chirpie cheep cheep' at the dodgems?

Thursday, August 26, 2004

A seagull ate my Buick

Skinheads, scampi and chips; Glasgow Rangers away kit; leaden skies and Lambert and Butler. Who needs St Tropez?

Wednesday, August 25, 2004

I can see Deirdre now Lorraine has gone

Somewhere in the mendips, brisk south westerly, family in adjacent tent all dressed in Aston Villa away kit. Who needs Acupulco?

Friday, August 20, 2004

No Sleep 'til Eastern In Gordano Services

It's 84 miles to Lyme Regis, it's dark and I've lost my sunglasses.  No we are not there yet, no you can't have another ice cream and no I'm not listening to the Sesame Street tape again.  Mrs Spuggy! arm the anti-caravan missiles and load the travel sweets into the child compartment.   Full speed ahead Valerie! No sleep till Eastern-in-Gordarno Services, hit it......


Have fun on your holidays Monkey Programmer Boy, please bring me back a special holiday gift.


Make a gift selection

Wednesday, August 18, 2004

Where's your tool?

Monday, August 16, 2004

eXtreme Programming defined

Kent Beck defines eXtreme Programming as

"DEFINITION: Extreme programming (XP) is a software development approach built around rapid iterations, an emphasis on code writing and working closely with end users to achieve business results. The 12 basic practices of XP include continual testing and the idea that programmers should work in pairs."

Extreme Programming for me is debugging a workflow system with my son George (aka the Evil Doctor Pud) on my knee. It is sort of pair programming but at nowhere in his 12 principles does Beck mention the other programmer sitting on your knee; pressing the space bar a lot or head butting you in the jaw.


Friday, August 13, 2004

Murdering a gag .....

Who's the domino dick
That's a sex machine to all the chicks?
SPUG!
Ya damn right!

Who is the man that would risk his neck
For his brother man?
SPUG!
Can you dig it?

Who's the cat that won't cop out
When there's lotusscript all about?
SPUG!
Right On!

They say this cat Spug is a bad mother
SHUT YOUR MOUTH!
I'm talkin' 'bout Spug.
THEN WE CAN DIG IT!

He's a complicated man
But no one understands him but his granny
JOHN SPUG!

==================================

Not Issac Hayes but the 'Tighten Up' version by the Chosen Few

A study in idleness

I know it's cheesey to repost the old stuff but for the hell of it and for England god damit, "Can I get down now dad" presents:

Monkey Programmer Boy Retrospective: A study in idleness

Thursday, August 12, 2004

Monkeys test 'hardworking gene'

From the BBC

"Scientists in the United States have found a way of turning lazy monkeys into workaholics using gene therapy.
Usually monkeys work hard only when they know a reward is coming, but the animals given this treatment did their best all the time.

Monkeys are rather like people in their approach to work - at least, those who live in a laboratory and learn to press levers for rewards of food and water."


I feel particular empathy with:

"learn to press levers for rewards of food and water."

Wednesday, August 11, 2004

Chutney, woof, bark, woof

Tuesday, August 10, 2004

Gags in Books

Some people may like it, but I find computer books that are full of gags hard work. At the moment I am reading Head First EJB and J2ME game Programing. Both are filled with gags and "ho hos" that would make Tarby groan. The Head first book triumphantly announces on its back page:

"finally .. an EJB book that teaches you everything you need to know, and keeps you laughing while doing it"

I'm sorry, interesting as they are EJBs aren't funny, infact they are about as funny as finding pictures of you mum in readers wives.

Hurumph.

Friday, August 06, 2004

Come In no 42

Mobile phone blog test 1-2-1-2

Happy Birthdy Ed

Happy birthday Ed. I haven't met Ed.


Thursday, August 05, 2004

Portal Exam Fever threatens our way of life

Passed the IBM WebSphere Portal V5.0, Deployment and Administration exam today. Got to say the Certfx exams are really rather good. Time for a Spuggy Software certification roll call.

<Drum Roll>

Sun Certified Java Programmer 1.0 (1997! boy was I keen).
Sun Certified Java Developer 2.0.
Sun Certified Java Programmer 1.4.
Sun Web Component Developer.
Ukulele Grade IV.
IBM Certified Database Associate – DB2 Universal Database V8.1 Family.
IBM Certified Associate Developer - WebSphere Studio, V5.0
Waving on Motorway bridges Certificate
IBM Certified Advanced Application Developer Lotus Notes Domino Version 6.
Sunday Times - reading the paper on the karsi champion 1999
IBM Certified System Administrator - IBM WebSphere Portal V5.0.
Watching Paint Wet for Windows - Advanced Admin and Chutney.
Cycling Proficiency Test 1975.
Botany O-Level 'D'
Bachelor of Arts with Honours.
Airfix Modelers Club Advanced Hawker Hurricane small pilot painting award.
Singing loudly in the car finalist 2001

</Drum Roll>

Chutney

Chutney

Tuesday, August 03, 2004

Language Skills

Sadly, I am poorly equipped when it comes to languages. How ever when asked I often reply: "Well I only have business Geordie". Here are some examples:

  • It is yer turn te dee the minutes pet.
  • Can Ah check oot noo ?
  • Can someone doon there send a cheese an pickle sanwich up te me room?
  • is this the way te tha toon senta

Try for yourself using the Geordie translator.

I notice they also have a link to Roger Mellies Profanisaurus. Always a joy.

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