Never seen in the same place

Curry Activity Games #206 - Poppadom Vampire

Astronerd

Astronaut
Sportsman
Fighter Pilot
Racing Driver

Don't need em.

But why?

Because I am soaring like an eagle on the wings of IT, that's why.

Amen.

Five Things

One
I have a recurring nightmare/dream which often happens just before I wake up - as dreams often do. In the dream the "just in time" ordering systems have collapsed, due to some unforeseen event like an earthquake or terrorist attack. I have thought ahead and planned for such an eventuality and have stocked the cellar with powdered milk, rice and for some reason tinned peaches.

After a while people start to starve and become desperate. Gangs roam the streets, fights break out, robberies occur and things turn generally ugly. Ugly that is for the foolish general public, not for the wise ones who tuck in to regular hearty meals of rice and powdered milk.

In the end word gets around that I have tinned peaches. This is all too much for my starving neighbour who confronts me near the garage and threatens me with a knife. Quick on the draw I gun him down with my squirrel gun. No Mercy.

In the film my character will be played by Lee Van Cleef.

Two
I went to University in Bristol where I studied Systems Analysis. When I say University of course I actually mean Bristol Polytechnic, which is sort of university for people who went up the pub instead of revising for their A-Level exams. Some of us on the course formed a football team which we entered into the Intramural (between courses) football competition. We named the team Whitney Houston. The best thing about this was that often before the match the opposing captain would come over and ask:

"Are you lot Whitney Houston?"

To which we could all reply, "Yes".

In the final year I went for a load of Job interviews and mentioned on my C.V that I had been a member of the intramural football team. On one occasion, I managed to reach the second interview where I found myself being grilled by a short-arsed, pompous little man. Towards the end of the interview he asked:

"Intramural? what does that mean?"

To which I replied, casually:

"Oh, its a bit like intercourse really" and then sniggered. I didn't get the job.

Three
I am six feet four inches tall, but strangely six feet five inches when I lie down. I have a large head and am not good in hats, mainly because my head is too big. My mother, when my birth is mentioned, often says: "Eeeee I wasn't the same girl after that I can tell you". She can be quite crude, as all those who have seen her do "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang" at charades will testify.

Four
I am very keen on singing in tunnels as I really like the echo. In particular I like singing the Banaboat song in the style of Harry Belafonte.

Five
If I had been a girl, I would have been called Racheal.