Tonight Matthew I am Alan Minter

After a few long days in London I was on my way home and was walking up the main drag to Paddington station. As I rounded a corner a pair of chavvy looking 16 year olds walked into me, one of them was clearly looking the other way. Suprisingly he gave me a stare and suggested I apologise. I refused, and then what I can only describe as a dust up ensued.

Suddenly after 30 long years since my last fight with Graham Wiggins in the playground (he had looked at my crisps in a funny way) I was up on my toes and delivering roundhouses like a good-un. They spat at me and tried to throw a can at my head but from the looks on their faces I could see that they hadn't anticipated meeting Smokin' Joe Spug the Swindon Southpaw.

After a few seconds it was over and they retreated, as did I. In hindsight it was all a bit foolish. Paddington station is not a place to pick fights with people as even the nuns carry knives; not to mention the fact that had I hurt one of them I would have probably got nicked for assulting a minor. In future I will try and stick to my ususal technique of bursting into tears and pleading with them not to hurt me as my mother is sick.

Still, exciting none the less; a thrilla in manilla a rumble in the jungle .... Spuggy BOOM-BI-YAY, Spuggy BOOM-BI-YAY.

Tonight Matthew: I am Alan Minter.